Childminder Fail

Today I embarked on my first foray into investigating childcare. Not a huge success. I won't talk about the fact I left my headlights on and so had a flat battery. I definitely won't mention that said flat battery meant the central locking on my little car had left the building so I had to squeeze Tiddler into the drivers seat and between the two front seats to get her strapped in. And what would be the point in elaborating on our 2 HOUR WAIT TO BE RESCUED....

So where were we... Met a lovely lady found on the council list of childminders with vacancies. Before meeting was very hopeful- she is also a nurse so I reasoned to myself I won't find anyone better qualified to look after Tiddler. She was the sort of lady I could quite happily be friends with, but I have concluded not right to leave Tiddler with.

I asked what experience she had had of children with additional needs: none. I couldn't see how Tiddler could fit in to her environment easily and was as unsure as she was about how her special seating could be arranged.  So, it seems I may be looking at nurseries next. This morning has made me doubt that I will find anyone right for Tiddler. I just can't see how those caring for the child can juggle the needs of 3 children simultaneously. I know its their job but I can't help thinking Tiddler may be left sitting for example because its easier with two other toddlers crawling all over the shop

Friends have told me that when you find the right place, "you just know", so I guess I have to wait and see...

Brick wall

So today I bought a Baby Bjorn chair fron Mothercare. The only reason it got the sale was it was half price due to being an ex-display model. The next time I have a purchase to make I will be using kiddicare or John Lewis as I don't take too kindly to being ignored for several minutes by 4 sales assistants and 2 managerial - looking types. Shoddy. I was going to look at pushchairs- have my eye on one in particular. There was no-one to ask. so I will be buying elsewhere. Mothercare have no unique selling point as far as I can see. Please do contradict me if your experience is different!

Anyway, I digress. As Tiddler can't sit unaided and arches I really don't have anywhere where I can leave her safely right now. We borrowed a friend's Baby Bjorn chair and were pretty impressed so fingers crossed. As it is hammock-like there are no anchor points that she can push off from and twist or arch. Its also ok for quite some time and can apparently be used as a toddler seat.

If this seat doesn't work then I am totally stumped. I genuinely don't know what I am going to do. She is still not really sleeping through the day so I just don't have any time to do chores or just sit and have 5 minutes to myself. I am feeling pretty strung out and alone. Am investigating childminders/ babysitters and nurseries now for a bit of help with Tiddler to give me a bit of time out. Fingers crossed that the figures stack up to make it possible!

It never rains but it pours

This week has been really really tough. I have been struggling with Tiddler as she has started arching at almost every position change. So, this makes putting her in her tumbleform (feeding chair), car seat, pushchair, etc etc very difficult. She has also started to sleep pretty badly, and yep you guessed it, she arches when you try and put her into her crib too. Now the last few days have taught me, through bitter experience, that she will relax but you have to distract/ tickle etc. This is quite hard to do on your own when dealing with a wriggling child!

I have had a bit of week healthwise too- had to have ultrasound on Monday to check that a cyst I had during pregnancy had gone- apparently it has- and yesterday I had to go to the Breast Clinic. I had noticed changes post-Tiddler's arrival and upon the 3rd GP visit I was referred. All very scary, they use the C word and you can't help but ponder the "what ifs". Although I had been reassured that a serious problem was highly unlikely it has still been a very difficult and stressful week. I have, apparently, got Periductal Mastitis. So there you go! I have to go back for an ultrasound- they are going to be on first name terms with us there (Tiddler has had 3 or 4 ultrasound scans herself!).

Childcare for things like hospital appointments is really tough without having family nearby. At the moment with the way Tiddler arches etc I wouldnt know whether a babysitter / nanny would even work with us?! Am I over-analysing and panicking again!?

I have been desperate for help with Tiddler. I have called everyone! Some have been helpful, but without a diagnosis or a label to quote it sometimes feels as though I am trying to prove entitlement. The Occupational Therapist has gone to ground again and so we are still awaiting a play seat.

However, its definitely not all bad. Tiddler has really come on with her sitting and I am hopeful that she may get there in a couple of weeks. That will make life a lot easier as at the moment I just can't leave her safely anywhere. Then I will just have to try to get her to sleep during the day... aghhhh the Holy Grail...