Cuddle

Tonight Tiddler gave me the most lovely cuddle.

Tiddler is 10.5 months old. She is physically delayed due to her Hypotonia (low muscle tone) in her upper body. She also wriggles and arches, out of frustration as much as anything else as her body won't work as she wants it to. Holding her in any position is hard work and she requires more support than a "normal" baby.

I was putting her to bed tonight, calming her down and she reached her arms up to my face and we cuddled.

Amazing amazing feeling. I am a lucky Mummy. We are getting there.

In the big bed

We are doing it, we are finally doing it,... Tiddler is in her own room. We had a shocker of a night last night and although she is poorly, this was not the sole reason we were all up for 2 hours from 2am til 4. The coughs and cries were interspersed with giggles and grins... "isnt this great! We are all here- lets play even though its dark and clearly the middle of the night.."

She is almost 10 months old. I know... knocking on a bit to still be in our room. We have our reasons as I have blogged here, she stopped breathing several times when tiny and we have, until about 1 month ago, been using an apnoea alarm each night fixed to her tummy. We haven't forced the issue, things are just naturally about right now for her to move into her room.

Doesn't make it easy though. I cried tonight. I cried due to terror- what if she does stop breathing? I know that she won't intellectually. I cried as I can't believe we have actually got to this stage! Wow! At times I never thought she would leave the hospital let alone be in her own room. And I cried because, like a normal mummy I am sad that my baby is a little more grown up now! She looks so tiny in her cotbed. Well she is tiny in her cotbed... its going to last her for years and years at this rate...