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Sunday, 24 July 2011

Lesson learnt

This week I have met up with 2 really good friends from school. We have been friends for 19 years. Thats impressive. These two same friends sent us cards during Tiddler's most recent hospital stay and said exactly what I wanted and needed to hear. Sometimes you just need to know that you are in people's thoughts. That is enough. The hospital can be a lonely place and is very unreal- messages such as these and knowing that others are praying and thinking of you not only keeps up morale, but also helps to burst the weird ward- bubble where life stands still and you dont go outside for days on end.

Unfortunately, we have found that other friends / relatives / work colleagues can sometimes drift away when things in our life with Tiddler haven't exactly gone to plan. Thing is though what has happenned to us could have happenned to anyone, we are no different and I do wonder whether that is why some people keep a wide berth, almost as if you can "catch" problems like this, like we are jinxed or something.... I have found that if things aren't "happily ever after" then some people just cant respond to this, they are literally tongue tied and you can see them squirming when you can't say that "yes, everything is alright now." That's one thing, the other much more upsetting approach is from friends and some even close relatives that just dont call. I think for some they cant cope with any bad news... tough shit I say as we have been living it. Thanks for your support! (*sarcastic voice*)

I am not holding grudges against these people but I have learnt who my friends are and know who and what is important to me. I just haven't got the energy to make an effort in the face of behaviour that has upset and disappointed us. I am now spending my time and headspace on keeping Tiddler on track healthwise and nurturing those friendships that I know are worth cherishing. Hopefully, Tiddler's health problems are all in the past now and so worrying about those around me in this way is academic. I know who is important and I hope that if the shoe is ever on the other foot I will be a friend who gets in contact, even if awkwardly, rather than one who keeps their distance in an assumption that someone else is picking up the phone.

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