Follow by Email

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Physiotherapy & the Nature of the Beast

Why do I feel so devastated?

I had thought Tiddler was doing really well- a growth spurt, almost sitting, fashioning her own crawling, mastering bite/dissolve foods.

Why then, why did I drive home from her latest Physiotherapy appointment hurting and fighting back the tears?

T’s lovely physio gave her the fab patent hot pink Piedro boots to try on. Mummy would have liked a pair in size7. Seriously, they rocked. Due to T’s Chicken Pox we are a little later than intended, and so they only just fit. Oops. Size 2 and ½!

Tiddler went ballistic. Screaming and screaming, real tears, she was NOT happy. She hates socks / bootees anything on her feet so I suppose it shouldn’t have come as a surprise. Eventually, with my holding her and the Physio battling, we got the boots on. Still the screaming ensued. She tried T standing in them, I meanwhile was desperately trying to distract/ cheer her up. In the end I had to intervene and ask for us to take them off. I couldn’t bear to hear her upset any longer. It really didn’t seem worth it.

Upset number 1: the Physio at this point said she was really wobbly and weak and would need a standing frame as well as the Piedro boots. At our last appointment she had not said this. I know it’s only temporary but it still makes her less able than her peers and makes me concerned again about her future abilities. As she has been doing so well I had thought she would be walking by 18 months. I feel a bit stupid now. Maybe this won’t be the case. I am angry with myself that I let myself believe everything was nearly "there".

Upset number 2: I mentioned in passing that although her arching behaviour has got a lot better, she has started head banging. I have assumed this is a normal phase, it seems not. Now I am concerned. As she is still without a diagnosis, I suppose if there is to be one, then little pieces of the jigsaw such as head banging help to work out what the overall condition is.

The Physio suggested it is either behavioural - which is what I have assumed it is- or otherwise sensory? Now I have googled this quickly (I know, I know….) and it seems that it may be an issue with sensory processing. She also seems to have a very high threshold for pain. Whatever it is the appointment has brought me down to earth with the bump I was waiting for. Even if this latest episode turns out to be nothing it just shows we are never that far away from hypothesising, grey, twists and turns. I guess that’s the nature of the beast.


  1. I'm so sorry you've had such a rubbish day! I don't want to second guess what you've been told but I've heard of plenty of toddlers head banging, generally when they are tired or stressed so it may just be a phase.

  2. Thanks Cat. I know its a phase with many, I need to wait and see what the Paediatrician et al have to say about it all I suppose. Luckily only have to wait till next week.

  3. Sorry to hear about your horrible day. It must feel like a huge setback but stay positive. My 18 month old niece with no health problems is still not walking and my little boy went through a real head banging phase around the same age. His forehead was covered in bruises! It lasted a month or so and then stopped so it may be nothing. I read a poem today at work written by a parent whose child had health problems. Poetry is not normally my thing but I thought of it when I was reading your post. Have a look and see what you think.

  4. That poem is lovely- someone has used that anaology before, thank you. I might duplicate that on my blog. I will be fine in a couple of days I am sure

  5. Days like that really take it out of you don't they? I have just found you though Twitter - thanks for following me!I love your blog - you are so honest and I can see that this is a sounding board and vent for you. Mine started off like that and I couldn't be without it now.Sounds like life is pretty tough for you right now.I think sometimes the professionals, wonderful as they are in many ways, can forget how devastating some of the news they give to parents can be.If its any consolation - you are not alone.Thinking of you and Tiddler and hoping tomorrow is a much better day. Sarah x

  6. Oh Sarah, thankyou so much for such a lovely lovely comment. When I read it yesterday it actually made me a bit tearful but only because it was so sweet of you.
    Yep, this bog started out as a bit of therapy / a sounding board for me. It is really helping me vocalise a lot of whats difficult.
    Thanks again for the comment, look forward to speaking again.

  7. I'm so glad you tweeted me. I am going to subscribe by email right now.Take care, hun. Sorry I made you tearful!!! Sarah xx